How to love
I don’t know about y’all, but the commandment to love as Jesus loves is hard. It is not natural for me. Selfishness is natural. Being lazy is natural. Shutting down my heart is natural.
But ladies, the commandment to love others is huge. Jesus said that our love for one another will be what shows the world we are His disciples! If we cannot love others, then what sets us apart from the world? Yes, we have power through the Holy Spirit to heal, cast out, and do miracles, but if the basis of those actions is not love, then we have a problem. A big problem. All the miracles and healings Jesus performed were rooted in agape love. He came to set the captives free because of His deep rooted love for all!
Loving God and loving others is the greatest commandment we are given. It needs to be something we are continually working on, and checking our heart about. As wives and moms, the call to love our families is significant. Yes, we are called to love all, but I think sometimes we can minimize the call to love our families because of the underlying tone (lie) that it is not enough, we must go out to our community and love them. And yes, I agree. But only if our family is filled up first. And there are different seasons throughout life as well! We have to learn to ebb and flow with these seasons and simply do our best, but never condemn or run ourselves ragged trying to do more.
I believe we can have a tendency to fall into the trap of doing, doing and doing more to prove ourselves worthwhile, instead of realizing and accepting who we are as God's daughters. We run around exhausting ourselves trying to make sure we are doing well enough, instead of resting in God’s love for us and overflowing from that. I believe the overflow from our time and intimacy with the Lord, is the only sustainable way to continually walk in agape love for our families and those around us.
I believe there is a secret to being an awesome wife and mom. What confirms it to me is that this is where one of the greatest lies from the enemy has come at us, has come at motherhood. It is a kingdom principle and is truly supernatural. And I believe the Lord desires for all of us women to understand this and walk in it.
The secret is focusing on your family's needs, not yours. It is removing all selfishness from your thoughts. It is putting your husbands and kids needs above your needs.
( “But what about me time?! I can’t be with my family all day or I go insane! I need breaks!”) Sound familiar? Yeah, I used to say this all the time too. I never doubted I would stay home for my family, but I thought the only way to survive was to have plentiful alone time and girls nights. That is what would refresh me to keep going. Boy, was I wrong! This simply created a vicious circle of selfishness that leaked into my husband and then neither of us could get enough alone time and we were all left wanting.
The second I was able to put my “needs” aside and focus on my husbands and kids' needs, everything changed. I removed the selfishness from my thinking, filled myself with more Jesus everyday, and then all the sudden everyone in my family was more full. It goes against normal thinking and everything women are told. Yet, it is a beautiful kingdom principle and it is so beautiful to watch in action. It is supernatural and if we all can aim to walk in this everyday, then I truly believe families can be transformed!
But ladies, this takes renewing our mind everyday. This light bulb moment did not remove my selfishness forever, I have to remind myself of it, renew my mind in scripture, and choose God’s kingdom everyday. Am I saying that alone time and girls nights are bad? Absolutely not! To me, it comes down to the heart. Enjoy time away, that is healthy! But are you relying on that alone to fill you up? That is where an issue comes in, because our intimacy with Jesus is what fills us up, and I believe He is the only source that can fill us enough, can fill us overflowing to deeply love our families and those around us.
The greatest way to have enough love to pour out on our families is to have intimacy with Jesus. Everyday intimacy that continually grows and matures. Without that, I believe it is impossible to have agape love for our families. Like, continual, long-standing agape love, not just a week or so :) I am telling you from experience, if you are walking hand in hand with Jesus, you will be a much more loving and dedicated wife and mom. Ladies, we gotta prioritize Him! It all comes down to Jesus. He is the perfect example of agape love and He is the only one who can help us love with agape love. He is love after all!
To sum things up, my two fundamental encouragements to be able to agape love your family are:
Intimacy with Jesus, walk hand in hand with Him, all day every day
Trust the kingdom principle, put your husband and kids needs first and watch the Lord fill you up in return
Ladies, we got this. Let’s rise to the challenge of agape loving our families. Let’s be the wives and moms that Jesus desires us to be. Let’s allow Him to overflow us with His love so we pour out love on our families!
